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ALWAYS GET LOST by Angela Carson
ALWAYS GET LOST by Angela Carson
E6 | Addicted to Living Abroad with Valentine Aseyo
Living in a foreign country somehow never feels 100% like real life. Even if you're working and have a daily grind, you wake up inherently as an explorer! Every day there are new discoveries to be made. New things to eat, experience, and to learn about different cultures. Today, listen in as 2 friends share their decades of experience as expats, immigrants, digital nomads and as location independent. It's an exciting and addictive lifestyle as you'll discover with Angela and Valentine Aseyo, founder of Matador Meggings.
Good morning, good afternoon. Good evening, and welcome to always get lost a podcast dedicated to travel and life abroad. My name is Angela Carson, I am the host and today I am going to be joined by a dear friend of mine, Valentine Aseyo. I met him about a decade ago will tell you about that later. Valentine is a digital marketing and branding expert. He worked for Facebook for over seven years has been a VP of tech startups. At one point he was trying to be a yoga instructor, and that fueled him to become an entrepreneur. Valentine is the founder of Matador meggings, which is an athleisure brand. For men. It's basically what they say is for fitness freaks and festival junkies. These are leggings for men, and they look fantastic. Valentine has lived in more places than I have. He is addicted to life abroad just like I am even No, no, no, I'd say we're pretty equal. That today we're going to talk all about mistakes we've made moving abroad, about what fuels us to continue living outside of our home nation tips on how to think about positioning yourself your career. Or if you're looking at the digital nomad thing, like how to get started living abroad, if that is something you are interested in, and you want to hear stories about stupid, fun and fabulous moments that Valentine and I have had over the years in different countries we've lived in. Well, this podcast is just for you. So come on, let's get started with Valentine Aseyo. Hello, Valentine darling. It is fabulous to see you.
Valentine Aseyo :Hi. Hi. How are you?
Angela Carson :I'm doing really good. How are you? What time is it there? Turkey.
Valentine Aseyo :I'm wonderful. I am in a little beach town in Turkey. And it's 2pm here. And the weather is gorgeous. The sea is beautiful turquoise, blue, all the shades of blue and I feel blessed.
Angela Carson :I am very jealous, I will tell you that. It looks beautiful. Thank you. You are very welcome.
Valentine Aseyo :All right. So we are going to talk all about how fun it is to live abroad about what it's like kind of being an addict of living abroad, because neither of us this is the first time you've gone home for any great length of time. And it probably wouldn't have happened if it weren't for COVID-19. That's, that's true. I've been living abroad for almost 15 years, sometimes on and off. And I could never imagine going back to my home town when I come country better said and live there for like seven months. Because last time I lived in this country for seven months. It was 15 years ago. But I owe this to COVID. And it was really good to reconnect with my stomping grounds and my country. And I feel really good.
Angela Carson :Nice. your Instagram has been so fabulous. Thank you. Yeah, so it's been about 15 years for me as well. I left the US the last time when I was 33. And I'm 49 now, and I had moved to Spain that time. But yeah, everything would kind of have to go to it's up for me to even think about moving back and planting roots in the US again, it's I don't know, life just it seems like there's so much out there to see. And I've already been there and done that in America.
Unknown Speaker :I totally hear you. To me, it almost feels like you know, getting back together with your ex that your years ago. It's really good. In the beginning. It's familiar and you're like, Damn, I missed that person, you know, like, but then after a while you realize why you guys broke up in the first place. You're like, Oh, okay. So I'm kind of feeling the same way. I left turkey over a decade ago, and traveled all around the world lived in many cities in many countries. And now, thanks to COVID-19 back in my country, and it's again, it's like getting back together with my old lover and we had a really romantic time. It was very nostalgic and I had a blast. But now Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready to go back but I have one month left in Turkey and then going to continue my road show.
Angela Carson :Where are you going next?
Valentine Aseyo :Next up is Miami, just so that we can hang out with my husband's family a little bit? Well, originally the plan was to move to Barcelona. But we said Let's postpone it because probably it wouldn't be as much fun to be, you know, stuck home in Barcelona, because we're very cautious not to get in crowds. But instead, we decided to move to a beach town in Colombia. And only yesterday, we found out that Americans are not allowed in the country. So we're really putting a
Angela Carson :hiccup in a lot of people's plans right now.
Valentine Aseyo :Exactly. So we have to pivot our plans, and then we decided to move to Mexico in two months. The good thing about being a digital nomad is we just have one suitcase and the puppy, definitely let go of the attachment to certainty and our plans. If COVID showed us one thing is not to make plans, like be more spontaneous. So we sold our place, we sold all our furniture, we're going to be switching cities and play by ear.
Angela Carson :Okay, this is a crazy side note. But I remember the story you told me about all of your things that were moving over from Europe, to India, or it was between two relocations. And the ship went down, that actually happens
Valentine Aseyo :just a couple of weeks before I met you in India. So the story was, I used to be a very materialistic person and had this attachment to the things I own. So when I moved to India for work for close to a year, I had this crazy idea of packing every single thing I owned, and move to India like including, you know, my all my shoes, my DVD collection again, this is a decade ago so we we used to have DVDs back then. Like my my DVD collections, by you know, I even brought my like I used to wear a lot of ties like I even brought my like ties and suits and tuxes and things like that. I'm like, things that I would never ever need in India. But because I had so much stuff, I shipped them with a ship, and it sank. So by the time I yeah, by the time I arrived to India, I got the news that all my stuff went deep in the ocean. So I ended up in India, literally with a backpack and a little carry on with maybe like two t shirts, shorts and couple of underwear. That's, that's it, this is probably the best thing. Or one of the best things that has that have ever happened to me. Because I totally lost any attachments to things that that I owned like, since because it was such a liberating freeing experience. Like imagine that you don't own anything in life. There's nothing to worry about. And it's just you and yeah,
Angela Carson :that is very liberating. I remember that story and just the the blessing and the curse of it. Because the personal things, you know, photo albums and fun things like that, that you had were sad to lose. But the others Yeah, maybe it was a nice life life lesson to her to learn early on.
Valentine Aseyo :The good thing is I actually had left all my photo albums and anything sentimental and my parents place it makes. Yeah, so I didn't lose anything. And all my hard drives and expect external hard drives and things like that. I had them with me, I didn't want to ship them. So I didn't lose anything that had sentimental value, or memories attached to it like photos and things like that. But other than that just made me realize all these things that we own, like our apartments, cars, furniture, each object catches any visible chain to your soul. And yeah, you can move around. But there's only so far you can go because of these invisible chains. And like when you don't have anything that you own. You're just free to fly wherever you such
Angela Carson :a liberating. Yeah, that's amazing.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah. So how old were you when you first relocated? Were you was it for uni? Or was it for your first job, I started living abroad in you know, limited periods of time for my education like I would the student exchange programs courses to learn a language. So that's how I started and I spent some time in France sometime in Spain, and then did my internship in Barcelona. So it all started with education and internship purposes and then it moves on to professional and right now it's just for fun. I move around not because my work requires me to do so but because I want to know That I own my own business. I'm my own boss. So I have this flexibility in terms of location and time.
Angela Carson :Yeah, that's amazing. I, you and your husband move around together. It's been like that for about the past year, right?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, yeah, the, we make this decision together. And we lived in New York for years. And you know, in New York, it's great in the beginning, but after a while, it's a little bit taxing, and the crowds, the pollution, the hectic lifestyle, it really wears you out. So I got to a point that I was like, I couldn't do it in New York anymore. I really needed to be in nature, you know, surrounded by trees close to the ocean. So we said, okay, why should we move and we said, let's go down to Miami. And it was in the beginning of the winter. In New York, it was in November, and you know, New York gets pretty gross. Weather really cold, too. So it was it was such a great idea to move down to Miami. It was at 85 degrees every single day flip flops. So great decision.
Angela Carson :Nice. So it's definitely easier, I think, to move abroad when you have stuff when you're with a company, because they move you. And it makes life so much easier. When you're when you're on your own, you couldn't really do the digital nomad thing with stuff like you were saying, you really have to be liberated, or park it somewhere thinking you'll come back for it.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, that could work. I also came to realization that I had so much stuff, so much clothing, you know, as a gay guy, like, I had so many shoes. And I realized 90% of the time, I wore the same clothing and same shoes.
Angela Carson :I see that too. I when I yeah, I do that, too. When I was on a three month trip, I packed all these cute shoes, I wore the same damn pair of sandals, and the same three cotton sundresses the entire trip, it was such a stupid packing choice, the you know, the extra shoes. And
Valentine Aseyo :it's great that you came to that realization. And if you look carefully, you'll see that that's a reflection of your life in general, you open your closet every day, and then you probably pick up the T shirt or dress at the top. But you have, you know, maybe 100 different options. So coming to this realization, I'm like, Okay, I have hundreds of items in this closet, but I wear the same 20 again and again. And again, at least like 80% of the time. So I said okay, I can really let go. All these things that I wear once a month, so I probably don't need it. So definitely streamlining your life reconsidering what you really need. And what brings joy to your life. And what you need to hold on to is really important if you're planning on having this nomadic lifestyle.
Angela Carson :Yeah, collect collect moments, not things is one of my favorite little phrases, a man that I've lived by for quite a while now. So all right, you and I have lived in a couple of different countries, you know, I don't actually know how many countries you've lived in?
Valentine Aseyo :That's a great question. I was actually just thinking about this in the shower this morning.
Angela Carson :You don't have a list somewhere?
Valentine Aseyo :No, I don't. But I made the list made the list, the prep myself for this podcast. And I said, Okay, what does it really mean to live somewhere? Because I worked at Facebook for eight years. And throughout my career, they sent me to places to you know, either open new offices launch new teams, like for example, they sent me to Poland for three months to Philippines to this and that. And I'm not sure if all of those are considered living so and then this is what I came up with, in order for me to count a country or city as Okay, I lived here. I think it needs to be more than three months. And I need to have a local phone number. It's silly, but I think it's those one of those little things that it makes you local, like when I lived in Poland or Philippines I never bothered to, you know, get a national line because I was there on a project work. But the moment you open a bank account, and you get a cell phone number 10. You're like, okay, you're living here that is stone this I would count of course, Turkey my it's where I was born. I lived in France and Spain. I worked at Facebook in Dublin, Ireland, India, and the US. So these are the countries and in these countries I have often lived in multiple cities, so probably like more than a dozen cities in the six countries. That's amazing.
Angela Carson :Yeah, okay, so yours yours because you've lived in the different cities. It's only what six countries, but it's really 12 holidays that you occupy. occupied.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, definitely. It's definitely more than that. Because I moved around in the us a lot. And then again in France, Spain, I live in a couple of different cities. Yeah.
Angela Carson :Okay, so I was going to ask you, which is the most culturally diverse country that you lived in? But given that list, I'm pretty sure yours is the same as mine.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, I would say that Turkey is a close second. But definitely India is one of the most culturally diverse places I lived. And it turkey can very well compete with it in terms of culture, architecture, music, cuisine, and all that. But India is definitely more diverse because they have dozens of different religions and dozens of languages. And it almost feels like each city or state is a completely different country. And I'm sure you've been to different Indian weddings in different parts of the country and they don't look similar at all. Language is not similar. The food is very different. Religion, the language everything is so different from state to state. So that's why I would say India's probably, and you live in Bangalore. Right. How
Angela Carson :was Bangalore you lived in Hyderabad, right? Where the Facebook headquarters was?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, yeah. I can't unfortunately, say Hyderabad was very culturally diverse because it's like the Silicon Valley of India. And it was very business and tech based. I when I came to visit in Bangalore, I thought Bangalore had a super cute charm to it and more cultured. How was it living in Bangalore?
Angela Carson :Yeah, okay, well, for everyone listening, Valentine and I actually know each other, because we both in Valentine came to holiday in the city in the village in Spain, where I lived for 12 years. And we have friends in common. And when I moved to India, and then Valentine moved to India, our friends got in touch and said, Oh, they connected us, I think on Facebook Messenger, you too need to get together. And you had just recently moved to India, and you didn't really have a lot of friends. And there wasn't a really active social scene in Hyderabad. And so I was like, oh, come down, come down. Because we're I was in Bangalore, I happen to start a blog. The first day I moved to India, and the blog became really popular. And so I got invited to all these parties every week, and it was cocktail parties and events and this and that. And so for me, my life was just crazy. Hell have fun and Valentine's like to do to do not do up in Hyderabad. So I invited him down. I was like, you have to fly down, come down, come down. And Valentine came down. And we ended up having a wild weekend, like dancing every night, like hung over brunches The next day, and just a really fun time. But yeah, my experience in Bangalore because I moved from Barcelona. And Barcelona is just, it's, it's not that culturally, I mean, it is culturally diverse to Southern California. But it's not an extreme. Like, the lifestyle is different. And everything's a little bit different, but it's not so like, a salt of the senses like India is. And I just, I just remember I, the one thing I remember that I always really cherish is the first drive I was doing from the airport to the hotel, where I was being put up for this new job. I remember it was like flight flights land in the middle of the night. In India, they all land between two and five. And it was just the sun was just coming up. And I saw this group of six or eight women in saris walking. And I just thought they I thought that they were actors from a Bollywood movie or that they were, you know, some fancy fancy ladies group. And I remember telling the driver I said, Oh, look at how pretty they are. You know, they must be actresses. And then he's like, No, madam. They're housekeepers going to work. What wonderful women I've ever seen. And yeah, it was it was definitely a Attack of the census in India. Good and bad. I was groped, attacked like mistreated. People think that because all poor That they see is Western women that they can say really dirty things to us and that we're going to react in a positive way. So where there was a lot of good, there was also just just a ton of bad I think maybe more so for women than men visiting, but I did you have any kind of anything like that for you? It wasn't you didn't get any of that stuff
Valentine Aseyo :I didn't not. Mine was different. I do understand what you mean. And where even though that's not my experience, because I'm not a woman, I can totally understand what she went through. And I did witness some of it. I think, being a man, obviously save some of that for me, I have a very fair light skinned so when I moved to India, I definitely would attract a lot of attention. People would stop me in a shopping mall, and then hand me their three month old baby to hold and to take photos. Like it's so funny. Like I would probably every 20 minutes on the streets or in a shopping mall. People would want to take photos with me people want You're famous and a celebrity. It's crazy. Yeah, it's I think it's because they didn't have that exposure, a lot of people would want to touch my skin and my face and they'd like they're like, oh, wow, this you're like really fair.
Angela Carson :So that was very interesting. But they definitely don't mean that it was it was interesting, I would never live in India again, just because I lost my personal freedom. So almost entirely, where it's not really safe for women to walk around on the streets, you're not allowed to do certain things like I would want to drink some nights. But I wouldn't want to go into the center of town. And where I lived with the traffic, it would take about 40 minutes to get there. But there was this little kiosk with the shittiest alcohol that you've ever had, like they give you a hangover stuff for sure the next day kind of alcohol. But I would go down there just to have a drink. Like and be out. I was the only woman that was ever there and it would cause such a big stir. It's such like there's even photos of me out there at this bar and just the the outrage that it caused.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, no, I totally hear you as a as a gay guy. It definitely had an impact on me as well. Like I had to limit certain behaviors, certain liberties that I had all my life in Europe or states or any anywhere I live, all those liberties were gone at times. I felt like well, I need to go back to closet. You
Angela Carson :know, if you don't know that you're gay, you wouldn't know that you're getting
Valentine Aseyo :I guess so. I don't know. But yeah, I wouldn't got go out of my way to you know, explain that. And, and, of course, some people knew some people didn't, but I have to think twice about some of my actions or some of the things I wore or
Angela Carson :your oil rompers.
Valentine Aseyo :I probably would not wear
Unknown Speaker :pink. So
Angela Carson :what, what has been your favorite home base then of all of the cities that you've lived in, either in the US or around around Europe? And
Valentine Aseyo :I think I think I know your answer, and mine is very close to it.
Angela Carson :Oh, okay. I assumed yours was Miami or Okay, tell me yours. Mine is Barcelona. Oh, I would not have guessed that. But it's that mean I, I absolutely 100% get it.
Valentine Aseyo :So there are several things that I pay attention to and like I consider when I choose a city to live or there are different factors that affect my satisfaction. And Barcelona checks all the boxes in terms of the lifestyle the city planning you know, it's like this. It's a it's a very old city, but it's so well planned. And everything is so beautiful. Every single building is an architectural masterpiece even like simple apartment buildings. And it's I'm always delighted with the architecture and so that really made my experience. The food is definitely important. Oh my god. proximity to the beach. It is it's a must have for me the greenery
Angela Carson :and nightlife, my god the nightlife in Barcelona.
Valentine Aseyo :Well, I'm too old for that. Talking about Yeah, I
Angela Carson :was I was in my 30s when I had the best like the 30s to 40 to 4033 to 40. were my best party years.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, maybe you were having a second wave of youth, which is what that means. For me, it's about my youth.
Angela Carson :We're gonna have a side conversation later when this is,
Valentine Aseyo :buddy, so I was actually really excited to move to Barcelona. And I can definitely see my self more stationary if I lived in Barcelona. But yeah, overall, I really enjoyed it like Spain. I'm part Spanish. And I can relate to that culture and the lifestyle even though they eat at 10pm. And I typically have dinner at six 6:30pm. So that part's not very suitable for me.
Angela Carson :What part of you is Spanish on your father's side?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, yeah. My dad side is Spanish in my last name a sale means hygenic in Spanish, actually. Fun fact. Yeah, I'm Sephardic Jew. So basically, those are the Jews that were expelled from Spain. And this is hundreds of years ago. I have Spanish passport.
Angela Carson :How many passports do you have? Three to three. American?
Valentine Aseyo :No, I don't have American passport. I okay. Turkish passport, Spanish and Portuguese.
Angela Carson :Okay, I have the one. We're not getting me in anywhere I was supposed to be exactly the next month.
Valentine Aseyo :No Turkish password didn't get me to many places. And thank God, I have Spanish passport. That opens way more doors for me. But I did consider getting an American passport for its benefits. But now these days looks like we'll be moving to Mexico. That's great.
Angela Carson :I lived there. That was the first place I lived was Mexico.
Valentine Aseyo :Where did you live in Mexico? In reported by artha.
Angela Carson :Yeah, it was a 1991. And I was 20 years old. And I had gone on holiday for a week to Puerto Vallarta. And I ended up meeting this boy because you know, there's always a boy. And his name was Danielle. And I ended up spending the week with him. Oddly, we never slept together, which wasn't normal for me back then. I was quite anyway. We didn't sleep together. But we had this romantic week together. I had gone on my first solo trip. And we would go out to like, restaurants at night where there would be a dancer and once you know, one guitarist singing, and he wrote a song for me. And we just had such fun time. And then I went back to LA and on the drive back to my apartment at uni. Just like what the hell am I doing? I don't want this life. I want that life. And so I ended up driving down in my Jeep Wrangler when I was 20 years old to Mexico. And I ended up working the summer. And it was just it was paradise. It was paradise. It was before. There were big hotels down there. Now there's like one of the beaches where I used to go it used to be a deserted beach. And now there's a St Regis and a Sheraton. But I had so much fun in the food and dancing till you know 6am and I don't know tacos at midnight was was really fun. I learned how to drink tequila, too, which in America, we just shoot it back. We do shots of tequila. And I thought that that's how you drink tequila. But it's actually you sip tequila. So it's kind of like a whiskey or brandy or cognac or it's when the tequila is a nice tequila in Mexico. They sip it. And I remember he just it was just so sexy how he was teaching me all of these amazing. Yeah, it didn't work out.
Valentine Aseyo :Which is
Angela Carson :well fine. It was a fun summer.
Valentine Aseyo :That's what I like about living abroad or being a digital nomad. Because every place you go, you keep collecting more and more memories and you meet new and interesting people. And you live life through them. You live almost like their version of life. Like when I lived in the US for seven years. I lived an amazing American life,
Angela Carson :what is the American life Tell me what an American life is?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, so when I lived in the states for seven years, I lived in American life. And that's in every aspect of life, right? The places that you go, what you do after work, the things you've talked to talk about with your friends, or the what you do for fun, what you do on weekends, it's, it's the American way of living. And then when you go to elsewhere, for example, let's say, if the Barcelona I, my life was completely different, though, the way I acted was different the way I went to work, the way I dressed the way I thought, the topics that I talked with my friends, the way I had fun, it's completely different. Because every country offers or even every city offers different things. When you die in the city, you were born, you rob yourself from the experience that you could have had elsewhere. And it's sometimes it may be difficult if you're married with kids, or if you have an attachment to a certain city, but even if it's for, you know, three months, especially with COVID, I think the best thing, I mean, there's no best thing about COVID. But if I were to think about one positive thing about this pandemic, it's pushing us to rethink how we live, and pushing us to reconsider if we really need these office spaces. Can we work from home? Can we work wherever we want? Do we need to be physically in one place to to perform? And I feel like more and more people are coming to understand that the answer is no. But you could have the same exact job in the same company. But you wherever you want. time difference, sometimes it makes it more challenging. But if you have like, I know, two, three or four hours of time difference, and you're willing to adjust your life, that will definitely work out.
Angela Carson :Yeah, the time difference thing Does, does make a difference. When when, when I was deported from India the second time, I always loved saying that I was fully expecting to move back to India when I had these problems with my company hadn't paid my taxes properly. And I ended up being penalized and deported from the country over this administrative paperwork issue. And I fully thought I would be going back. So I maintain the same client, I just started up a brand new startup company. And so I was keeping on. And I would start work around 8pm in California, I'd work all morning, you know, all through the middle of the night. And as my parents were getting up at six 630, I would go grab a glass of wine, they'd be having coffee and breakfast. And that was that was that it was to stay working on. on the business side. Yeah, when you're your market is on the other side of the world does pose challenges at times. Or if you have clients and you have to do you know, important clients and you have a four and conference goal.
Valentine Aseyo :That can suck. But the benefits still outweigh the tethered life someplace that isn't fulfilling your dreams. It really does. You're so right. And that's precisely what my husband and I are experiencing right now being seven to 10 hours away from the US. And I came to realize that time difference makes more impact on your life than the distance to your clients. And that's another reason why we want to give no move to Europe or Latin America so that we're at least a little bit closer to us right now. We had to shift our lives. So basically, early mornings, we may have some calls, because you know, California is still awake. And then after that we have late morning, all noon and early afternoon, we have it pretty relaxed in terms of like, everyone is sleeping. So we can actually get in the zone and crunch a lot of work without any incoming traffic. And then after 4pm calls, meetings start again, it's challenging, but if you're willing to adjust your life and rethink your schedule, definitely works out like for example, we have a PT come over at like 11:30am in the morning. Like I would never be able to do that. If I lived in the US and worked at a company because I would be working in an office. Yeah. But I realized you know what? working out at 11:30am it's actually pretty good. Nice. So I actually wanted to ask you, because you live far from home right now and then you live in all these different places. What do you think the hardest part of living in a new country,
Angela Carson :I think I've been finding that out more as I've gotten older. Because when I was younger, I would move to countries like Mexico or Spain. And I'd have a bar job and I'd hang out at the beach and you make friends really easy. And as I've gotten older and started moving to New countries, it is a bit more difficult to make friends. And I think people as we get older, we're a little bit more set in our personalities as well and a little bit. Well, it just seems easier to get on with people when you're younger than when you're older. And I've definitely found in this latest move to Indonesia, this has been the most challenging of my life. Because I've moved to an island that I kind of thought was going to be like living in Uber wood. But really, there's just a handful of expats. And it's been really difficult to make local friends because it's kind of a tiny island. And I felt really alone. And in the past, I've been here almost one year, and I made one good friend. And she's had three people in her family in different countries die from COVID-19. So she and her husband are on complete lockdown with no visitors. So literally, since March, I have been completely alone and isolated in my apartment, I've had this situation in Hong Kong, I didn't really make great friends. And I find that, that my mental health, which then affects the physical health really starts to it starts to eat, eat away at me. And the isolation lately, especially since I have this friend who I think is a good friend on the island, but I can't see and we don't really talk much. And it's just yeah, I feel really, really alone. And I think I'm, I'm quite an outgoing person, generally speaking. So I don't have any problems. Making acquaintances, but it's the making friends, that that I find a challenge more and more as the years go on. And I've just, I've really the past few years, I have had moments where I've struggled because I just, it's just the isolation and with me not having been in a relationship since 1995. You know, I had one guy in India for a few years, but we were on the download because he couldn't tell his parents and, you know, it was just, uh, you know who it is. So I think the feeling alone, lately over the years has has been catching up with me. And just that that feeling that I need to be more mindful of my mental health and doing things to keep me out of internalizing so much.
Valentine Aseyo :That's a really good point. I totally get that it may get lonely at times. I had a big social circle when I lived in New York. And that's actually was one of the reasons why I wanted to leave because I felt like I wasn't mindful. I wasn't I was always trying to get to places and meet people. And my social calendar was always packed, which was great. I'm so grateful to have amazing friends and connections in New York. But it got really exhausting. So I said, Oh, you know what? The move down to Miami. I know a handful people. I really want to be on my own work on my mindfulness. And that was great. It was a good social detox. It was I actually cherished being on my own.
Angela Carson :Did you live in New York the longest of any of the places?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. Okay. I lived there for four years. And so going back to Miami, I wanted to have this social detox and wanted to move to a city that I could be on my own, like just me, myself and I, my husband and my puppy sitting on the beach, meditating. That's the life I aspire to have. And it was amazing in the beginning, and then the lockdown began. And of course, it was mandatory isolation. And, and I had that sense of loneliness. I feel so grateful that I had a loving husband with me, but that was that was pretty much it. I was away from my friends away from my family. And I'm an entrepreneur. It's a one man show. So and entrepreneurship is a very lonely road, as Well, like a lot of people, they continue to work remotely, but they still maintain a big team. So throughout the day, gration
Angela Carson :and there's collaboration
Valentine Aseyo :and exactly there's collaboration and and I love teamwork I perform best when I'm in a big team collaborating, partnering with other people. So and then fast forward, I moved to Turkey right before the borders were closed. And we've been living here for seven months. And I have zero friends in Turkey, other than a handful friends who would come visit me for a day or two every now and then. So most of times, it's just my little family. So I totally hear you. It may get lonely at the time. I
Angela Carson :know in in one minute, two minutes. Give me No, don't give me give everyone listening your best advice? For someone who's looking to live abroad? Who hasn't done it, yet? They're looking to do it? What's some words of wisdom you can impart to them? For me to go? Do you want me to go first?
Valentine Aseyo :Um, my thoughts.
Angela Carson :Okay. First, you think of yours. So the best advice that I can give is honestly to start thinking beyond your current job, and start thinking of how you can be a value to a company in a foreign land. So for me, I've always worked in digital marketing, communications and branding. And you wouldn't think that someone would want to spend a lot of money to pull someone like me over to live in a foreign country. It's very expensive. But I highly specialized with technology startups. And I spoke a foreign language. And so for me, I was able to get jobs and move to countries because they wanted someone who had diverse market experience, who had language experience, who was a native English speaker, etc. So I think that when you're trying to think about living abroad, and you want something stable, like a proper job in a country, not just to be a digital nomad, which is a little bit riskier for people, I think you really just have to think about how can I add value, and start manipulating your CV and certain things that you do, to, to show domain experience to show market experience or expertise, and try and learn a second language before you start, because that will take you so far,
Valentine Aseyo :definitely speaking the language. Some of the biggest piece of advice that you can share to someone, the most important thing is that you have an open mind, and open heart and open arms to whatever comes your way. And get rid of all the attachments to the past. A lot of people are afraid to move abroad, because they think that that's their forever decision, which is not, if it doesn't work out, you can go back and move on with your life, as it was before. Just be willing to have an adventure, be willing to do things in a different way. And don't forget your old life will always be there waiting for you. On this is not a permanent decision. Yeah, it's I
Angela Carson :think that's great about the, the having an open mind. Because one of the things that I still struggle, I get a little judgy, sometimes with certain things, and I have to remind myself, that I'm not right. It's just different. And there's so much when you go into a new culture, like you were saying Spaniards have dinner at 10. Even when my daughter was a little girl, she didn't go to bed and she would have her dinner a little bit earlier. But it was really late, like kids don't go to sleep until 10pm. In Spain, where in the UK, they go to sleep at six 7pm. And it's just, there's, there's so much that's different, especially when you move someplace to like India like we did, where everything is night and day different and it's not right or wrong. It's just different.
Valentine Aseyo :It's just the friends. My husband is American, and has been living in Turkey for seven months for the first time in his life is bent a turkey couple of times prior to that, but like for a week or two. So he had an idea and understanding of the culture but definitely not a lot because he was just a tourist in this country. But now literally moved here, then living here for seven months.
Angela Carson :recharging and
Valentine Aseyo :every exactly every single thing is so different. He feels like he lives on a different planet
Angela Carson :in a magical land. It's exotic
Valentine Aseyo :and exotic. And I have so much respect and appreciation for his willingness to understand. And if he can't understand, he'll accept you want to try to change people, you won't show any dissatisfaction. It's just the journey that he's living in. And yeah, just just be willing to try new things.
Angela Carson :Yeah, I agree with that. Alright, so last and final question. If you could live anywhere in the world right now, for a year? What country or what city? Would you like to move to? That's a good question. There are so many I have so many places on my list. So many?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, yeah. But most of my list these days is all about Asia. I'm going to say, Japan. And then definitely, I want to spend some time in Korea, as well as some other Asian countries. But I've, I've always had a fascination for Japanese culture. Not only their food, but the way they, you know, interact with each other, their customs and weird little habits. And you know, the way of living, it's just fascinating to me, that, to me, it feels like a completely different planet. So I would love to experience that. And then maybe like, live in Japan for a couple of months, and then move to Korea for a couple of months. And then maybe China for a couple of months. But I definitely want to spend a year or two on that part of the world.
Angela Carson :Okay, well, when you do you have to come and visit me, whichever country worse. All right, well, hold on to your hats because mine is Japan too. Nice. Yeah. And I had written mine down beforehand. So when my daughter and I needed to leave Spain when the economy crashed in 2008, Japan was one of the seven countries we wrote down as places that we would want to move to. And I had tried to get a job there. I tried for years. And they just if you're not Japanese, or you don't speak fluent Japanese, it's basically impossible to get a job in Japan. But now that I'm a low now that I'm like, I'm not a digital nomad, I'm location independent. So now that I'm location independent, I would love to spend a year there, like on my YouTube channel would just be Oh, could you imagine the heaven every week with some amazing adventure in Japan, from the culture to the food to the the backdrops and the mountains and the seas? And the islands just looks beautiful to me. Okay, maybe we'll live in Japan together? Oh, my gosh, that would be very well, next year. Should we say when the pandemic ends, maybe like in two years? We
Valentine Aseyo :were in FY 23. In Japan, you and I.
Angela Carson :Yeah, that sounds good. And then we'll hop down to South Korea. And we are going to karaoke and have some fun as well. Well, it has been so nice talking to you. And so nice hearing your variants. It's interesting. We've lived in some of the same places, but had such different experiences to which I think is what happens with anyone. Everyone has their own experience when they live abroad. But it's so enriching, you end up traveling so much more, even just on weekend breaks, and I can't imagine life any different than the life
Valentine Aseyo :that I live. Now. That's amazing. And I don't think there are a lot of people who can say that with confidence.
Angela Carson :Now you can.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, I can. But I'm not sure there are a lot of people who can say that a lot of people get comfortable where they live, and they may have even forgotten what it feels like to experience new things like I there's this question that I love. When was the last time you experienced something for the first time? And if I worked? Yeah, when was the last time you experienced something for the first time? And if I asked this question, 200 people on the street, probably one of them would actually have a good answer to that. And in my case, you can ask me that question every week, sometimes every day, and I will have a solid answer for you. Because that's how often I experienced new things for the first time in my life. And for average person on the street, they just get comfortable and they don't even have this as a need in their life. So that's why I've said there are there are many people out there who could say what you just said earlier about how satisfied you are with your life. So if you're listening to this podcast,
Angela Carson :all the way to the end,
Valentine Aseyo :all the way till the end. I will leave you with this saying when was the last time You experienced something for the first time. So think about that marinate on it.
Angela Carson :Can you please tell everyone how to find you and what you're up to? What should they be looking for? What are you up to tell us?
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, I'm Valentine. I'm the maker of Matador meggings meggings as a men's leggings, it's a new athleisure brand. I would love for your listeners to check out my website. It's Matador meggings.com. And it's basically leggings re engineered for the male anatomy.
Angela Carson :It is the hottest damn Instagram channel to
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, on Instagram. It's Matador like the Beaufighter Matador meggings at Matador meggings on Instagram,
Angela Carson :you want to give them your puppies, Instagram as well. Valentine puts daily photos of his puppy Gigi on Instagram and she's now living the high life in Turkey. It's very cute. Oh, there she is. Hi.
Valentine Aseyo :Yeah, it's um, she's Gigi Amara so on Instagram.
Unknown Speaker :Okay, go
Valentine Aseyo :and follow. My puppy has traveled more than many people that I know. Just living the jetsetter lifestyle.
Angela Carson :Oh, I have family members that don't have passports.
Valentine Aseyo :Oh my god. Yeah.
Angela Carson :All right, my daughter. You go, I will talk to you soon.
Valentine Aseyo :Come back and listen to the next episode of Angela's amazing podcast.
Angela Carson :You're so sweet. Thank you so much, Valentine. I know how busy you are. We rescheduled this damn thing like seven times. So it's so nice to have you. So nice to see you. So nice to talk to you. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. I love you. I love you too. Thanks.